Sweating and Diabetes: The Tale of My Fake Snakeskin Pants

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Another week has gone by, and for you regular readers who were left hanging at the end of last week’s blog entry, we ended up using a combination of powdered sugar and Sweet’N Low for fake cocaine in our video shoot. You’ll have to watch the video when releases it to see where it comes into play. Let’s just say it’s the worst- and best-case scenario for an 80’s hair band.

We laughed a lot making the video, and it was more of a physical challenge than I imagined. We probably performed the song ten times throughout the day and, just so you know, the song is a six-minute-and-eighteen-second power monster ballad. Power monster ballad is a new category of song I made up when we recorded this song, and it is defined as “a song that can both make you want to cry and kick someone’s ass in the span of six minutes and eighteen seconds.”

The name of the song is “Tonight” and you can download it at the iTunes music store. Search for “Tonight Stuckey” and it is the only song that comes up. As always, the song is PG-16 so be careful where you play it. However, if you either like or hate cheesy one-liners, this song is for you.

Back to the story. I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to rock real hard for more than six minutes straight with a sparkling, camouflage, Flying V guitar and three-pound wig on, but I recommend this to people with diabetes everywhere who are looking for creative ways to exercise. It’s much more exciting than your standard treadmill or elliptical machine workout. In fact, the next time you go to the gym, don’t go in your normal gym clothes—put on your fake snakeskin pants, see-through snakeskin tank top (a.k.a. Snake on Snake) and high-top Vans and rock the hell out of that place.

I must say that the fake snakeskin pants I wore created the weirdest leg sweat I’ve ever experienced in my life. It was one of those situations where, early on in the day, my legs were sweating in all sorts of new places. My calves, shins, and the fronts of my knees were all producing a thin layer of moisture. I’ve heard of the backs of knees sweating, but never the front.

Let it be known that I’m not a very sweaty guy. (I’m hot-natured, but I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself sweaty.) However, these pants and their weird leg sweat, combined with a bit of exercise and diabetes, was enough to lead me to believe a few times during the day that my blood glucose might be low. I checked it each time I got this feeling and was fine (111 mg/dl, 120 mg/dl) the first two times. I was at 80 mg/dl on the third, so I ate a cereal bar and then rocked the hell out of the Ars Nova theater.

To all you people with diabetes out there that get that funny feeling when you’re sweating in new places, check your blood glucose to see where you stand. After you’ve gotten your number, awkwardly touch your sweaty kneecap and then lick your finger. There’s a 40% chance it tastes like rattlesnake.

Here’s a photo of Jon Murray and me in our 80’s getups with our friend Rebekka. Notice my Snake on Snake and Murray’s dual neck guitar!!

Until next week.

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