Valentine’s Day Candy = Cough Drops

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So yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and my wife and I did what all newlyweds do: She went to her photo etching class and then met me at the Upright Cititzens Brigade Theater for The Rejection Show and Mortified’s Valentines Day Extravaganza.

The night was filled with writers, comics, and musicians telling stories, reading letters, and singing songs of love lost, gone wrong, or completely ignored. It was a really funny, great night, and the place was standing room only. A lot of my other friends who perform were there, and my good friends The Defibulators were the house band. Check them out at

Well, I’m still a bit under the weather, as they say, and I’ve now started on an antibiotic, which has to be the number one winter excuse for not drinking booze. I cannot seem to get rid of my cough and I’ve tried just about everything, from NyQuil to Mucinex to Sleep. I’ve also been sampling my fair share of cough drops. I’ve found that the worse they taste, the better they work.

So far, Fisherman’s Friend is in the lead. Once one is in your mouth, you can feel the menthol, apparently a dear colleague of the shrimp-boat captain, dancing on your epiglottis then rising into your sinus cavity and sizzling your nose hairs, if only to make everyone with in a five yard radius be able to smell your breath and assume that something is wrong with you. I’ve also noticed that Fisherman’s Friends can add a fair amount of carbs to your diet if you are popping them like Pez Candy.

As I’ve now researched the cough drop a little bit, I’ve learned that there are plenty of sugar-free options out there. But, sugar or no sugar, they still don’t cure the need to always have one in your mouth when you’re coughing every two or three minutes. If you look a little closer at the packaging on Fisherman’s Friend, you will see that they are distributed by, guess who? Pez Candy, Inc. That is wonderful. Candy, proven over the years to make a kid stop crying, can now maybe make an adult stop coughing. And they do work.

There is also a bit of eucalyptus oil in the Fisherman’s Friend cough drop. Insert your own weird koala bear joke here: __________.

Well in other news in my life, check out the March issue of Architectural Digest and you can sort of meet my wife, Katherine. She is in the contributors’ section and she took all of the photos for the piece about New Orleans.

If you’re wondering who took the wonderful photo of her, well, I did. So my work has now also been published in Architectural Digest. However, my photographer name is McAndrew Stuckey. It’s in the small print in the fold of the page, and I believe it makes me sound more serious. Whatever.

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